Well, since the beginning of the mysterious disappearance of MH370, the issue of sensitivity came up again. The public have been constantly reminded to be sensitive. Now, how sensitive should a person be? What is the level of sensitivity one individual expects from another? This can be rather subjective, perhaps.

At the risk of sounding insensitive, in a country where anything can out of the blue become sensitive, my view is that one (the person facing the grief or difficulties) should not expect the other to be grieving the same way. That is plain unfair to the other. Sometimes, even when I try really hard, I fail to feel the same kind of grief. I have experienced loss of people near to me. Today, I am still grieving, in my own ways. I have never expected anyone else to grieve the same way as I do. So, it is not because others are insensitive, but others just do not feel your kind of grief. So, perhaps try and understand that you can not insist for others to grieve the same way as you do. Put yourself then in their shoes. It is difficult if not impossible, for you to understand and experience the same kind of grief the other is experiencing. Some people do not take long to move on. This doesn’t mean they did not grieve too. They are either –

(1) have had enough grieving;

(2) move on rather quickly;

(3) have their way of grieving that it does not show.

All we should not be, is becoming an opportunist. Pretending to be grieving can both be good and bad. Your intention of showing your sensitivity can be mistakenly construed as trying to gain “favour”. As such, I think sensitivity should be at a modest level acceptable to everyone. So, we need to be careful in whether or not we should be sensitive. Also, to what extent should we be sensitive … the answer is, put yourself in the shoes of the other person, those you expect to show some sensitivity. Also, not too expect too much from others.

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