“Do not mistake kindness for weakness“… perhaps the best way to explain it is by saying that “a person who is kind shall not be assumed to be easily taken advantage of”. Hands are not always opened. There are times when they are closed and become fists! This apply to all relationships; superior-subordinate, friends, family and just about anyone.
Kind people, pushed around long enough, will reach their limits, just like everyone else. Only difference perhaps will be the extent of “abuse” they can withstand. At the end of the day, the “abuser” will be the one losing. The kind acts will stop and life will not be as easy. One example, superior-subordinate relationship; one will be lucky to have a kind superior who rarely use his/her “powers”. The subordinate should know his/her limits as well. Just because for one whole year (for example) the superior had been nothing but nice and accommodating, does not mean the superior will keep being nice for the next whole year. Heck, the superior may stop being nice whenever. No, am not agreeing to superiors behaving unreasonably, abusing their authorities. My direction here is where on one hand, we have a kind superior, understanding most of the time and on the other hand, we have a subordinate who does not know his/her limits, the kind of subordinate who abuses the kindness of the superior.
So, after a period of tolerating the in-competencies of the subordinate (incompetent not because he/she is incapable but because he/she knows, someone will pick up his/her slacks), the superior flips. In this instance, who can we blame? More often than not, what will happen next is, the subordinate feels “abused”… that the superior is arrogant(ly using his/her authorities). To begin with, there is not even a humanly need for the superior to be kind. All the superior need to be is reasonable. I have not only witnessed incidences as such, in fact, had gone through it! (Indirectly saying am a kind superior LOL). Currently, I do not have a subordinate (prefer not to call those under me that though) and that solves one problem. Les headache for me. Whether or not I can cope with the amount of work I have, that is another story ;D
A friend, who at the beginning was a colleague of mine once said, “You’d be lucky if you become friends with your colleague, otherwise, colleagues will remain only colleagues.”. A superior may not always possibly end up to be your friend but you can always do your part to ensure the smooth progress of the daily work life. In this modern life, we tend to spend more than half the day at the office. There is definitely the need to have a harmonious relationship amongst colleagues, moreover relationship with the superiors.
(the usual disclaimer: (1) this is not addressed to anyone specific and even if it is, am not going to disclose it ;D; (2) I apologize sincerely if my post here offended anyone. No intention of doing so at all!)